Monday, May 15, 2006

Something on the lighter side...

In doing some research, I found that William DeBuvitz, a physics teacher, wrote the following and called it "Administratium." It was written in 1998 and published in the January 1999 issue of The Physics Teacher. I heard it recited at Hillsdale College as the definition of "govermentium." Enjoy!

Definition of govermentium:

A major research institution (MRI) has recently announced the discovery of the heaviest chemical element yet known to science. The new element has been tentatively named Governmentium.

Governmentium has 1 neutron, 12 assistant neutrons, 75 deputy neutrons, and 224 assistant deputy neutrons, giving it an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together by forces called morons, which are surrounded by vast quantities of lepton-like particles called peons.

Since governmentium has no electrons, it is inert. However, it can be detected as it impedes every reaction with which it comes into contact. A minute amount of governmentium causes one reaction to take over four days to complete when it would normally take less than a second.

Governmentium has a normal half-life of three years; it does not decay, but instead undergoes a reorganization in which a portion of the assistant neutrons and deputy neutrons exchange places. In fact, governmentium's mass will actually increase over time, since each reorganization will cause some morons to become neutrons, forming isodopes.

This characteristic of moron-promotion leads some scientists to speculate that governmentium is formed whenever morons reach a certain quantity in concentration. This hypothetical quantity is referred to as Critical Morass.

7 comments:

Do said...

OUTSTANDING!

May I use this at my next Public Policy meeting? hahahaha That ought to get the other board members thinking!

Maggie Thurber said...

I heard this at a lecture at Hillsdale College...could not find attribution...

Please feel free to use this where-ever applicable.

If you find attribution, please let me know!

liberal_dem said...

Hmmm, Governmentium, nice name for such a volatile material. In the wrong hands, it could start wars and destroy a democracy.

Symbol possibility: Bh?

Do said...

Maggie - according to this link there is a tentative authorship being posted. http://www.samizdata.net/blog/archives/000953.html

And Liberal_Dem - are you sure it would be Bh? Not Bs? :)

Maggie Thurber said...

Found that a William DeBuvitz coined "Administratium" which has the same definition as govermentium.

thanks for the link, do.

LD - did your Bh stand for a term?

Hooda Thunkit said...

That orgizational structure sounds awfully familiar.

Yeppers awfully familiar...

:-)

Kate said...

good eye Maggie.

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