Ahoy there, scallywags and sea wenches! It be Talk Like A Pirate Day.
According to the originators, "Talking like a pirate is fun. It's really that simple. It gives your conversation a swagger, an elán, denied to landlocked lubbers." And anyone can do it - though some do it better than others. LOL!
In honor of this ignoble day, here be some bad pirate jokes:
A seaman meets a pirate in a bar, and the talk turns to their adventures. The seaman notes that the pirate has a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch. 'How did you end up with the peg leg?' he asks.
The pirate replies, 'I was swept overboard into a school of sharks. As my men were pulling me out, a shark bit my leg off.'
'Wow!' says the seaman. 'What about your hook?'
'Well,' answers the pirate, 'we were boarding a ship when one of the enemy hacked off my hand.'
'Incredible!' says the seaman. 'How'd you get the eye patch?'
'A seagull pooped in my eye,' the pirate replies.
'You lost your eye to a seagull dropping?' the seaman asks.
'Well,' says the pirate, 'it twas my first day with the hook.'
Q. What are a pirate's favourite socks?
Q: Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet?
A: Because they can spend so many years at C!
alternative answer: Because they can't get past R (arrgh)
A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender points at the parrot and says, 'Wow! That's really cool! Where did you get that?!'
The parrot says 'Hispaniola! They're freakin' everywhere!'
And a classic:
A pirate walks into a tavern with a ship’s wheel down the front of his pants.
The bartender asks the pirate if he knows its there and the pirate responds: Yarr, it’s drivin’ me nuts.